A Birthday Reflection

#24

Reflecting on my 24th birthday today brings up so many thoughts. After spending the previous evening journaling what’s been on my mind of this day and the new year to come, the theme of aging and ease stood out to me the most. 

Now you may be already saying, “now Chi, pause, you’re only 24, relaxxxx, you’re not even that old”, and I won’t stop you lol. Many perspectives can exist at once. 

To be honest, this reflection, really started during the onset of the pandemic as working and going to classes from home had me notice some of the changes already happening to my body. I’m talking about the body aches, the fine lines, and wrinkles, just to name a few.  

Yet, I find that my perspective on aging has shifted in a way over this past year that has allowed me the space to breathe and question some of my previous thought processes. 

Pulling an excerpt from my journal, here’s a little of what’s been on my mind. 

This is my body, in which I am well created. I find I’m in a state of curiosity towards myself. How will my body alter as the years go by? What does it need right now to thrive? What words of kindness will I repeat to myself?

I think I’m in a state of letting my body be and going with the flow of what it will become. 

That I will forever be a learner of my body and who I am until the day I am no more. I can inquire to know more of her and she will respond.

Does this mean I will neglect myself? 

No. 

Rather, it is a relinquishing of the control that my body should “be” a certain way by a certain time, and entering into a position of genuine curiosity of the present and future. It is an invitation to watch in real-time the cyclical beauty of life in human vessels: being, becoming, shedding, regrowing, rinse-and-repeat. 

I will always learn something new about myself and I want to. I want to give myself the freedom to change, adjust, re-align, plant, or uproot - at any point in time. 

And I want to practice this, not just with my physical body, but with letting go of needing to have certain accomplishments completed by a specific age. For so long I have lived by deadlines that I’ve forgotten how to live. To be present. To enjoy. To define for myself. To create life how I want, on my own time.

That’s wild. But doable. This’ll be an adventure.

So, to the changes in my physical body that have already made their grandiose entrance, you are welcome here. There is beauty in your presence and we can journey through life together. And to the previously created timeline lists, the rush, and the internalized pressure to appease those around you, bye-bye!

Cheers to a new year of ease, deeper joy, present living, and aging well.

Dress from @boohoo

-Until next Wednesday at 10a!